Your Know You’re From New Orleans When…

When I tell people that I live “near New Orleans” their first comment back tends to be: “how cool!”  Yes, and no.  I don’t actually live in the town next to New Orleans but a town in the suburbs that is a 24 mile long bridge plus an hour away from the actual city.   Therefore, I live in what I jokingly call “southern suburbia.”  Ok, ok, the locals may not have an accent like people in Savannah, Georgia but they are 100% southerners for sure.

I’ve been down south over a decade and here are some of my observations about the residents down in NOLA.  You know you’re from New Orleans when:

• You still call the bus “public service.”
• You get on the bus marked “cemeteries” without a second thought.
• You have a friend (or two) named Boudreaux.
• You have flood insurance in your house.
• Your fall clothes are all black, gold and purple.
• You’ve gained 10-15lbs permanently but you don’t care anymore.
• You know that “dressed” has nothing to do with clothing.
• The white stuff on your face is powdered sugar.
• You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.
• Your idea of foreplay is pinching dem tails and sucking dem heads and chasing it down with a cold Abita beer.
• There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in ya mamma’s coin purse.
• You don’t learn until high school that Mardi Grass is not a national holiday.
• People ask “what high school did you go to” right after they ask you for your name.
• You have a monogrammed go-cup.
• A Bloody Mary is considered a “light” breakfast.
• Your kids say “yes ma’am, no ma’am and yes, Sir, no Sir”
• You have no idea what a turn signal is or how to properly use it.
• You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs.
• Every so often you have waterfront property.
• You “know” where you got them shoes.
• You have discovered that those four-inch-long cockroaches can fly, but have decided to retain your sanity anyway.
• You are a Saints fan and talk about them players like they’re family.
• You don’t think about spinach when you see “Popeyes.”
• You like your coffee so strong the “spoon stands up.”
• You orient yourself with the location of the river and the lake before you give directions.

And there you have it.  When I first moved here over a decade ago, some of these would get a raised eyebrow from me… but now… it’s normal.

Have you visited New Orleans?  What did you think?