When I tell people that I live “near New Orleans” their first comment back tends to be: “how cool!” Yes, and no. I don’t actually live in the town next to New Orleans but a town in the suburbs that is a 24 mile long bridge plus an hour away from the actual city. Therefore, I live in what I jokingly call “southern suburbia.” Ok, ok, the locals may not have an accent like people in Savannah, Georgia but they are 100% southerners for sure.
I’ve been down south over a decade and here are some of my observations about the residents down in NOLA. You know you’re from New Orleans when:
- You still call the bus “public service.”
- You get on the bus marked “cemeteries” without a second thought.
- You have a friend (or two) named Boudreaux.
- You have flood insurance in your house.
- Your fall clothes are all black, gold and purple.
- You’ve gained 10-15lbs permanently but you don’t care anymore.
- You know that “dressed” has nothing to do with clothing.
- The white stuff on your face is powdered sugar.
- You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.
- Your idea of foreplay is pinching dem tails and sucking dem heads and chasing it down with a cold Abita beer.
- There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in ya mamma’s coin purse.
- You don’t learn until high school that Mardi Grass is not a national holiday.
- People ask “what high school did you go to” right after they ask you for your name.
- You have a monogrammed go-cup.
- A Bloody Mary is considered a “light” breakfast.
- Your kids say “yes ma’am, no ma’am and yes, Sir, no Sir”
- You have no idea what a turn signal is or how to properly use it.
- You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs.
- Every so often you have waterfront property.
- You “know” where you got them shoes.
- You have discovered that those four-inch-long cockroaches can fly, but have decided to retain your sanity anyway.
- You are a Saints fan and talk about them players like they’re family.
- You don’t think about spinach when you see “Popeyes.”
- You like your coffee so strong the “spoon stands up.”
- You orient yourself with the location of the river and the lake before you give directions.
And there you have it. When I first moved here over a decade ago, some of these would get a raised eyebrow from me… but now… it’s normal.
Have you visited New Orleans? What did you think?